Retirement Is When You Lose Your Best Alibi
Executive Summary
As retirement approaches, many people are about to lose something they’ve relied on for years: the excuse that work keeps them too busy. Being occupied with your job is one of the most socially acceptable explanations for why certain things don’t happen.
But Keith Demetriades CFP®, CKA®, has noticed something interesting: when people finally have all the time they’ve been waiting for, they often still don’t do the things they said they would. Here’s why.
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Retirement Is When You Lose Your Best Alibi
If you’re getting close to retirement, you’re about to lose your best alibi.
Think about it. Being busy at work is one of the most accepted explanations we have. It works for almost everything. Why you don’t exercise the way you planned. Why you haven’t stayed in touch. Why you haven’t really looked at the numbers yet. You just don’t have the time.
And for years, that’s been true.
Here’s the funny thing, though. A lot of people retire, suddenly have all the time in the world, and still don’t end up doing the things they said they would. That’s usually when the real reason shows up.
1. Why does retirement take away the excuses we rely on?
Work fills your schedule and your headspace. It gives you a ready-made explanation for why certain things stay on the back burner.
You’ll focus on health later.
You’ll travel later.
You’ll deal with some of the harder conversations later.
Retirement takes “later” off the table. Once work stops being the reason, you’re left with a less comfortable question: Do I actually want this, or did I just like the idea of it?
2. How does work shape how we see ourselves before retirement?
Work lets us hold onto a version of ourselves without ever having to test it.
I see this all the time. Someone retires and tells me they’re finally going to get serious about fitness. Six months go by. No gym. No routine. Nothing changed. What they liked was the idea of being the fit person, not the routine that goes with it.
Same thing with travel. Couples talk for years about seeing the world once they retire. They’ve got the time. They’ve got the money. Then they sit down to plan that first big trip and realize they don’t love airports, hotels, or eating every meal out for weeks.
What they actually enjoy is being home. Their bed. Their kitchen.
There’s nothing wrong with that. But it can be a big surprise when you realize you’ve been telling yourself a different story for decades.
3. What changes in relationships once work is no longer an excuse?
Work also shows up as an explanation in relationships.
“I’d stay in better touch if I wasn’t so busy.”
“We’ll focus on us more once things slow down.”
Careers and responsibilities matter. You’ve been running households, raising kids, and managing a lot. But managing a household isn’t the same thing as maintaining relationships.
When work is gone, distance doesn’t have a built-in explanation anymore. Friendships don’t automatically restart. Marriages don’t deepen on their own. Retirement exposes whether the effort was ever really happening.
4. How can work become an excuse to avoid money decisions?
Money is the third place where work tends to carry more weight than people realize.
When work is demanding, spending becomes about convenience and reward. You’re tired, so you order out. You’ve had a long week, so you upgrade the trip, the hotel, the car. It feels earned, and in many ways it is.
The same overwhelm that makes spending feel justified also makes planning feel like one more thing you don’t have the energy for. You say, “I’ll look at this when work calms down.” But “not having time” can be an excuse to avoid the larger conversation about your finances, lifestyle, and plan for the future.
Retirement takes that excuse away.
5. What should you do before retirement removes your alibi?
This doesn’t require a massive overhaul, but it does require intention.
Before retirement, take work out of the equation on purpose.
• Write down the things you say you’ll do once you retire, then test one of them now. Just one. Pick something you’ve been saying you’ll do for years—getting in better shape, learning an instrument, taking longer trips—and try it while work is still in the picture. Put it on your calendar and treat it like a real commitment. After a few weeks, you’ll know whether it’s something you actually enjoy or just something you liked imagining. That information matters more than you think.
• Reach out to the relationships you’ve let drift and see what showing up actually looks like. Don’t overthink this. Call one friend you’ve meant to reconnect with and make an actual plan. With your spouse, be intentional about time together that isn’t about errands, schedules, or logistics. Retirement doesn’t automatically create a connection. It shows you whether you’ve been practicing it.
• Sit down with your spouse and put real numbers around spending, priorities, and tradeoffs—then stress-test them. Talk through what you think retirement will cost, what really matters to you, and where you’re willing to adjust if things don’t go exactly as planned. Write the numbers down. Then sit down with a financial planner and see where the plan holds up and where it doesn’t.
If you keep finding reasons to delay, being busy isn’t the reason. It’s just the alibi.
Real wealth starts with real life. Don’t just plan the numbers. Plan the life.
Contact Information
Keith Demetriades, CFP®, CKA®, believes real wealth starts with real life. He created the 4D Client Experience to help guide decision-making and ensure your money works as a tool to support your life. If you’re ready for a financial plan that reflects how you live and what you’re building toward, contact Keith at (806) 223-1105 or visit Kingsview Partners.
Disclaimer
The information provided in this blog is for educational purposes only and should not be considered financial advice. Please consult a qualified financial advisor to discuss your specific situation and needs. Past performance does not indicate future results, and all investments carry risks, including potential loss of principal. Any financial product or strategy references are purely illustrative and should not be construed as endorsements or recommendations.
Investment advisory services are offered through Kingsview Wealth Management, LLC (“KWM”), a SEC Registered Investment Adviser. Insurance products and services are offered and sold through Kingsview Insurance Services, LLC (“KIS”), by individually licensed and appointed insurance agents. KWM and KIS are subsidiaries of Kingsview Partners.
